Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Destination: COOL (Lord, have Mercy on us all...)

If I’m not careful, I just might wind up being cool.

Writing that made me giggle and blush as I sit here all alone in my bedroom. Because I know for a fact that ‘being cool’ isn’t something I’ll ever have to worry about. I say and do too many inane, boneheaded things to compete in the ‘chill zone’, and if I haven’t learned how to exercise a little self-control by the age of 47, there’s really not much hope for me.


I DID just win the FIRST PLACE award for Weekly Column in the Maine Press Association’s Better Newspaper Contest. I mean, really… how cool is that?

Pretty danged cool.

Last year, I won the third place prize. I didn’t even know my publisher had entered me in the contest-- or that I’d won anything-- until I read it in the newspaper. Heh… that was kind of weird. I sat in my office at work, newspaper in hand, and muttered a feeble, “Yay, me!”

“Woo-hoo???” Anyone???

Aw, shucks.

I called my publisher just to make sure it wasn’t a typo. After all, I didn’t want to accept the accolades of my fans under false pretenses, did I? Heidi assured me that I had, indeed, won third place—and that she had a certificate for me to prove it. If she could just find the bloody envelope…

Well, I’m an impatient woman. I want instant gratification. No climbing the ranks step by plodding step for me, no sirree! This year, I skipped right over second place and snagged the big one. FIRST PLACE.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-HUH!

Of course, I didn’t know I’d been entered this year, either. That’s probably a good thing, because as impatient as I am, I would have fretted and stewed, wondering who’d won, wondering how talented my competition was… wondering WHY IT WAS TAKING THEM SO LONG TO CHOOSE A WINNER!!! The difference this time was that when I won first place, Heidi actually emailed me and told me so. AND, she invited me to the awards banquet and ceremony, where I would accept my prize.

Yep, I got a free dinner out of the deal… and so did Mr. Grumbles. Once in awhile, it’s good to remind the "man of the house" that he shares his abode with a one-of-a-kind woman. While I’m quite sure that he thanks God for that every day, I’ve never determined whether he gives thanks for the fact that he lives with me, or that there’s only one like me. Some things are best left to the imagination of an optimistic woman.

I know that this award isn’t a huge deal… not really anything to write home about. (Instead, I had to call! Instant gratification, remember? I wanted to crow to my mother and father and hear them say, “That’s GREAT! We are so proud of you!" I am such a child…) But seriously, it’s not like I won a Pulitzer Prize, or anything like that...

Still… it’s obvious. I’m slowly creeping ever closer to ‘cool’.

What a disaster in the making.


P.S. Isn't that a gorgeous bathroom? This, and others like it, can be found at Point Lookout, Northport, Maine-- home of the 2010 Maine Press Association's Award Ceremony.

P.P.S. Where I won first place...

P.P.P.S. The top photo is one of several paintings of the Maine coast which were displayed at Point Lookout. I fell completely in love with their beauty and detail. And with Point Lookout's bathrooms, too...

P.P.P.P.S. The best thing about the bathrooms? The toilets did NOT flush by themselves. The water in the sinks had to be turned on by moving a 'cold' or 'hot' lever. The soap wasn't mounted in a wall dispenser. The paper towels were in a neat stack on the counter, and didn't spit at me from an automatic machine on the wall as I walked by. AND!! And the last stall in the room (each of which which had a normal wooden door with a real doorknob)contained a swivel rocker! How cool is THAT!? (I've simply GOT to know the story behind that, but everyone I asked that might was as mystified as I was. Still, a swivel rocker...heh.)


  1. Hurrah - there is a God.

    Well done, Kazza. I read that article in the Irregular and said to my better half at the time, 'Ooh, she's good.'

    Back-pats beat cow-pats any day, eh?


  2. Go you! And you haven't won a Pulitzer YET.

  3. Good for You! I always wanted to know an award winning writer! That way, when she writes a review of my book, [at some future point] it will carry more weight! ;)

  4. Hey Jack! I'm actually on the phone with Oz right now!

  5. Yeah, DC... it's all about you!


    Love you... and I'll be happy to review your novel... '

  6. Let's just hope I do it quicker than I've done Jack's, ay?


    Heh.... I'll get right on top of that, okay Boy?


  7. Hey, Maine Mountains... thank you for that vote of confidence! You are a sweetheart, that's for sure!

    However, I think I'll have to expand the scope of my writing before I stress out about winning THAT contest!

    Hugs from around the corner and over a mountain or two!


  8. Congratulations Karen !!

    That is awesome news - way too cool....

    Love you girl !

    PS: I wonder if back-pats are as good, or better, than elephant-pats ? Consider your back heartily patted anyway.........(and keep an eye out for the postie....heheh)

  9. Hmmm, Dozy.... can one make a greeting card out of a back pat? I don't think so!

    Heh... I can't wait to get my authentic African elephant dung in the mail!

    Snort!! Thanks, babe.