Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Lobbyist, a Senator and a Representative... A New Contest on GAG

It’s time for a contest on GAG. It’s been far too long since I had some fun on Grumbles and Grins, and I figured I’d better do something now, while it’s First Quarter moon. Because… you all know how I get when the moon is full!


Recently, I was telling a friend about some of the events, meetings and activities written into my schedule for the next few days. I wrote, “I have a meeting with a lobbyist, a senator and a representative in a coffee shop…”

Of course, I immediately thought, “Boy, that sounds like the intro to a joke!”

“A lobbyist, a senator and a representative walked into a coffee shop…”

“A lobbyist, a senator and a representative walked into a bar…”

“A lobbyist, a senator and a representative walked into a…”

So, here is my challenge. Come up with a joke for one of those introductory sentences and submit them in the comments section of this posting. The winner will receive a copy of the new cookbook just put out by the Lexington-Highland Historical Society, and a copy of the DVD produced by Tom Olds and me, which contains photos of the beautiful state of Maine, set to music. (By the way… the photo on the label shows Hutchins Hill in the background, and although you can’t see it, my house is nestled in those woods half-way up the hill.)

The contest will run until February 27th, and I will decide the winner, this time. No drawings, no ‘eeny-meeny-miney-moes’. I’ll simply choose the one I like the best, or the one that made me smile the longest, or groan the loudest. Enter as many times as you want—the more, the merrier.

And if you’re not ‘into’ cooking, just remember—someone you know and love, IS! This book will make a great gift, and you are supporting the efforts of the folks in two tiny, rural communities who are trying to preserve the history of this region in the western mountains of Maine.

Okay! “A lobbyist, a senator and a representative walked into a….”

Give it your best shot! And thanks for playing with me on GAG.

Bottom (fuzzy) photo was taken in the Tavern at the Harraseeket Inn in Freeport, Maine-- where I actually DID meet with a lobbyist (er...Governmental Affairs Consultant) on Friday night.


  1. A lobbyist, a senator and a representative walked into a bar.

    The bartender said; "What, is this some kind of joke?"

  2. :o)>

    Heh... that's pretty pathetic, CP...snicker. So pathetic, that I can't help grinning. :o)>

    As I left the office today, I told one of my brokers (and a very good friend) that I was headed out to meet with 'a lobbyist, representative and senator' and she said "That sounds like a joke!"

    So... I guess we're all on the same wave-length.


    How about 'attempt number two'? When you've nothing more pressing to occupy your time, that is....

    I've got to see if I can come up with something, I suppose. Not fair to leave all the hard work up to my guests, is it?


    P.S. The senator and the lobbyist had hot chocolate with whipped cream on top, just like I did. It tickled me to see these men in suits trying to keep whipped cream off their noses...

  3. A dyslexic lobbyist,senator & representative walk into a bra..

    The lobbyist has a piece of asphalt under his arm..he says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road please'

    The senator asks 'Do you serve senators here?'
    The bartender says 'yes'
    'Good' he says 'Then I'll have one for my alligator'..

    The representative has a baby seal under his arm...the bartender says 'What would the baby seal like to drink?'
    The representative says 'Anything but a Canadian Club'

    Anyway after the first two walked into the bar you'd have thought the representative would've seen it coming..

  4. Ali g, that is superb! Big grins, first thing in the morning... :o)

    I intended to write to you last night, btw, but I feel asleep with my nose on the 'b' and 'V' keys--too much to do and too little sleep, lately. But you got me all excited yesterday! Will write when I get home...


  5. same here...I feel asleep on the 'b' but probably closer to the 'v' once. .....wont do that again..too much trouble ensues

  6. I'm not sure I know how to respond to this. Hehehehe.....

    Um... nope. I think I'd better keep my mouth shut, huh?

    Hehehe..... (go to bed, ali g...)

    Love you.

  7. A lobyist, a senator, and a representative walk into a bar.... I forget the rest, but your mother works for a wind developer!

    See, that's a new version of an old joke...the kind of joke that you tell to start a fight in Lincoln on a Saturday night!



  8. GROAN! That's AWFUL, DC!

    Hehehehe.... that's really BAD.

    Really, REALLY bad.

    (I dare you.....)

    No, on second thought, I don't!

    Sheesh... heheheee

  9. Careful what you wish for.....I've got worse!



  10. You know... I'm usually pretty sharp. I can make the occasional 'funny'-- most often, right on the spot. But I've tried three or four times to make a joke out this 'lobbyist, representative and senator' bit-- and I've got nothing!

    How can I make this easier?

    Would it help if I said 'A blond lobbyist, representative and senator walked into a...'?

    I simply don't know. I'm stumped by my own contest. I don't know whether to be proud of that fact, or embarrassed. :o)


  11. I'd like to help you out, but I feel restrained by the rules of decorum. I mean, if this were an R Rated Blog, I could build a lot of material around a Lobyist a Representative and a Senator.....


  12. Restrained by the rules of decorum, ay?

    You HAVE met Trev, haven't you?



  13. Yup, nice guy. I'm betting that if he and I really put our heads together, we could ourselves banned from most any bolg or furum!

    But we'd have a lot of fun in the process.



  14. A blond lobbyist had her teeth repossessed so the senator and the represenative took her down to the pub and introduced her to the boys.

  15. A lobbyist, a senator & a representative walked into a bar - they couldn't even agree on where to sit so they left.......

  16. HA!!!!

    Dozy!!! That is TERRIBLE!!!!!

    I LOVE it! And I love your Aussie assie!!

    Hehehehehe...omg. That week-long brainstorm is the piddle of the century! You just might win this contest!

    Hehehe....that was even worse than DC's.... and that's going some!

    xoxo XOXO!!!

  17. HEY, I resemble that remark!


  18. Yes you do. And you should be proud to be in the running with the magnificent Dozycow, whose prowess as a jokester is unequalled.

    Thank gawd....


    Hey, Doz! You still speaking to me? I mean it-- so far, your joke garnered the biggest groan. (Note, I still haven't been able to come up with a blessed thing from that lead-in!)

    Hugs to you both.

  19. Hey babe !

    Of course I'm still speaking to you ....heheh
    It has taken me a whole week of 'brain-wracking' to come up with, basically, I thought I'd inflict it upon your good self (just sharing the pain....snigger)

    Big hugs

  20. Oy! It was painful, all right. Hehehe.... I'm still grimacing!

    Thank you for being such a good sport. And if ever need some other hopeless and mundane activity to occupy you for a week, just give me a holler. I'm full of great ideas (as is evidenced here. Snort!)

    Headed to bed so I can face Sunday. I hope yours has been fantastic.


  21. wot about me...didun yuh like mine? hoo

  22. Trev, love, I completely missed it! I didn't see it there! I spied Dozy-dear's and I got so blown away by her entry that all else was erased from my mind! (Wasn't it simply pathetic!!! She'll be hard to beat!)

    But I have just found yours, read it... and now I am commenting.

    Er.... I love it. :o) But I wasn't aware Mrs. Trev was a lobbyist.

    Big hugs. I apologize for neglecting your entry. It was so.... YOU.


  23. A lobbyist, a representative and a senator walked into a wall.

    Ay-yi-yii! This is positively brutal!!!!

  24. You know... I caught hell on Sunday for offering the Lexington/Highland Historical Society's cookbook as a prize for such a 'crappy contest'. Apparently, it is more worthy than this! Hehehe.....

    So I need to make amends. And this is what I'm going to do. I've been searching for a politically correct AND apt saying. It's been a very cold winter, here on the 45th N lat. I haven't felt warm for the past two months. It's almost March, and yet... it was -3F when I got up this morning!

    How about this: Come up with some 'sayings' that I can use when describing how cold it is. Finish this sentence:

    It's colder than...

    That's it. Just "It's colder than..."

    Than WHAT?

    Perhaps I'll even buy another cookbook (it's for a good cause, after all!) and give out two prizes. One for the joke, and one for the most interesting saying/simile.

    For now, though, I'm going to climb under the covers. I'm freezing! Because, you see, it's colder than...


  25. It's colder than …

    ◙ a bank manager
    ◙ a polar bear's nuts
    ◙ a penguin's fart
    ◙ a wet nose in the crotch
    ◙ Barack Obama's political future
    ◙ a Frenchman's shrug
    ◙ a witch's tit
    ◙ yesterday's headlines
    ◙ a proctologist's finger

    Just a few to be going on with.

    Live long and prosper.

  26. Well, CP, you did it again! Hah! Naturally, there are a couple there which don't pass the 'politically correct' test (so naturally, I love them the best!)but there are a few which I could actually USE in my 'public' writing. (The rest, I'll use in my private talking!)

    A penguin's fart. That's probably my favorite, just because the imagery is so cute. I wonder if a fart can freeze? (I'll get Mr. Grumbles on that, right away. He's the perfect scientific guinea pig...)

    And a proctologist's finger?

    Cough! I'll take your word for that one. :o)

    Thanks for playing. :o) Those will be hard to beat!

    Hope all is well with you and yours.


  27. Yep, CP surely will be hard to beat ! (Just love the penguin's fart)

    How about "Colder than a Siberian coal mine" ?
    Nope ? Didn't think so either.....sigh.

    Have to save my brain-power & energy for my first trip to Melbourne tomorrow - a weekend away from FRED - Yippee !!!

  28. Colder than a dead dingo's donger.

  29. Och, Trev... I thought the expression was "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or I would have used that one long ago! I like that one, simply because it's fun to say 'dead dingo's donger'....


    Thanks for playing. Contest ends this weekend, maybe Mrs. Trev would have a suggestion? Something not having to do with her dentures?


  30. colder than the look I got when I queried why Mrs Trev didn't realise she'd ripped the left mudguard and front bumper off the car when she reversed it out of the garage ......

  31. Oy, Trev!

    I hope we're not talking about the new Trev-mobile, here?

    Tell me you're kidding!!!

    Ouch..... colder than a penguin's fart, I'll bet!!!



  32. twas mark 1 benz not mark 2...trevor

  33. Well... I suppose that's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. But not by much, ay?

    Still--she has no teeth. So there's that...


  34. Well, the results are in!

    Okay, they aren't IN-- but I've made up my cotton-pickin' mind.

    The winner of this contest simply has to be Crookedpaw. It HAS to be.

    I wanted to give the prize to Dozy-dearest, simply for the 'pathetic factor'. Her joke did elicit the biggest groan, after all.

    And DC's contribution was pretty sad, too. Hehehe....

    Trev? Well, I did chuckle at poor Mrs. Trev's expense...

    And Ali g's joke was actually quite good, considering I didn't give you all much to work with.

    Even my pal Jack tried to come up with something. HIS was so lame he didn't dare submit it on line, though. Hehehe.... yep. Kinda lame, there, Boy. :o)

    But CP--well, he went above and beyond. And who doesn't love a good penguin fart, huh?

    Thanks, guys. And Mr. Paw, I'll send your cookbook and DVD on it's way just as soon as I get plowed out. Winter is hanging on pretty hard here-- another 10 inches of new snow today...


    P.S. Doz, your snowball is on its way. I hope Aussie Customs lets it through..

  35. Congratulations Crookedpaw - a well deserved win !

    Did you send me a snowball Karen ?
    Brilliant - we've still been getting some 'scorcher' days here so it will come in handy for sure !
    Thank you xxx..