Sunday, August 8, 2010

Contest: 104 GAGs, $104.00 for Charity

Hello, my friends! Welcome to the 104th posting to Grumbles and Grins!

I’d intended to write something special for my 100th posting. That’s a grand number—one hundred—and so I thought it only apt that I celebrate, somehow.

But… life got in the way. And so did issues which have become an important part of my life, lately.

I thank you all for your forbearance. When I started Grumbles and Grins, I was not involved in the effort to stop the industrialization of Maine’s mountains. I was simply a wife, mother, business owner and writer. I am still all of those things, but I’ve taken on a new role… a new duty. And GAG has become a part-time medium in which to ‘spread the word’.

But!!! One’s life cannot consist of work and duty and responsibility, only. Can it? (Please say ‘no’…)

No! It can’t!

There is a proper balance to be found--and I work every day to find it.

So… to commemorate the 100th (oh, fine! The 104th!) posting to GAG, I am holding another contest.

No autographed copies of Grumble Bluff, and no Maine t-shirts to be had for prizes, this time. Nope. THIS time, we’re ‘giving back’. This time, the winner of my contest will be able to direct me to pay $100.00-- a dollar per posting-- to the charity of their choice. Or the person of their choice—someone who is deserving of a little assistance, but who is, perhaps, too proud to ask.

Okay! Okay!! A buck a posting doesn’t equal $100.00! You’re right…it equals $104.00.

So, now we know what the prize is. The next question? What is the contest?

Well… honestly? I had such fun with the answers you gave to my ‘Name That Caption’ contest, that I simply have to try it again. The problem is… I hate to have my photo taken, so the photo options are fairly limited. So, what I’ll do is go into my “pictures” file and see what I can come up with. I'm sure there are some terrible ones I can embarrass myself with, and I'll include them in this post. You can choose the photo and create a caption. And the one that tickles the funny bone of Mr. Grumbles the most… wins. Just don’t tell him I’m awarding $104.00 to the winner, okay? If he knows that, he’ll be able to justify not buying me anything for our anniversary. And if you’ve been a follower of GAG since its inception last August, you’ll understand why that’s a touchy subject, around here.  

Right. That’s as easy as they come. Pick a photo. Tell me which one it is (I’ll number them) and then write a caption. You can enter as many times as you’d like. Or as few. (Of course, the more times you enter, the better your chances to win…)

Be thinking about who (or what) you’d like to see receive $104.00, and enter today! The contest will only last until August 14th--one week from today--unless I get busy. If that happens, then it will end when Ali g calls a halt to it. (He expects to win, you know. And the benefactors, if he does? Some needy subjects named Claude, Tigger and Wookie. In keeping with the theme, between the three of them, I’ll bet they weigh 104 pounds.)

Good night, my friends. Take it easy on me, will you? (You're not going to take it EASY on me, are you??? I didn't think so! Now that's more like it!)


Photo #1

Photo #2

Photo #3

Photo #4


  1. FYI... You can NOT name Photo $4 "Can't Miss From Here". That's the label I gave it...


  2. Q...Do you know how many animals had to die to make that Dryzabone coat you're wearing..??

    A... That's nothing said Maine's Annie Oakley brandishing her luger....Do you know how many animals I had to sleep with to get it?

    apologies to Mae West for pinching her lines...

  3. Maine's Annie OakleyAugust 8, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    Heh... very funny, Trev. (I like it!)


    Okay! First entry is up! Come on, guys... let me have it!

  4. as the actress said to the bishop...

  5. Snort!!! You're too sharp for me, kid. Hehehe...

  6. Steal my cawwots eh?
    Come out from behing there you wascally wabbit and fwace your medicine!!

  7. Wascally Wabbit??? I didn't know Aussies got Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd down there! Cool. (Did you know Bugs Bunny is the only reason anyone's ever heard of Tasmania????)

    Hi Ali g

  8. OK I'll bite..
    heard other stories about the 'map' of Tasmania but tell me about Bugs....

  9. Ah-VAH!!! (Do you not think I've hung out with you Aussies long enough to learn anything??? Ah and VAH! I am NOT laughing. Am NOT!)

  10. #1...... Man, this microphone is tasty! Do we have any more of these; you folks really should try one!

    #2...... The Giant and the Dwarf........

    #3...... I think Kaz just got her Christmas goose!

    #4........ Can you hear me now?

  11. Hahaha!!!

    My "Christmas goose"... hehehehe...

    Do you thing Senator Snowe would appreciate being called a 'dwarf'? She's really not... it's just that I am so GARGANTUAN!!!

  12. Hey, this is sort of like 'free association.' You know, the old, 'say the first thing that comes into your mind' game. The men in the white suits ask me to play it all tte time. Don't your friends with the butterfly nets and the funny jackets that tie in the back, ever ask you to play that game?

    Actually, that wasn't my first thought for photo #2, but I AM a gentalman, after all!

    Glad you liked your 'goose,' but then, what woman doesn't!

  13. Photo # 3...........Oh no ! I think that laxative is finally beginning to work.......

  14. #1 -Embarrassing myself again

    #2 - Boy does she make me look good!

    #3 - OMG did I say that?

    #4 - If I practice enough I should be able to hit a wind turbine blade rotating at 200mph or 22 rotations per minute. Practice makes perfect!

  15. Embarrassing myself again...August 9, 2010 at 6:05 PM

    Hah! Hiya, Tracy! And welcome to GAG!!!

    Excellent entries, too! (Whaddaya mean, 'embarrassing myself AGAIN'???

    Oh. Right. You KNOW me!

    hehehe... thanks, sweetie. Great contest entries... and good luck!


  16. #1- Tastes nice but just lost my front teeth biting it. What is it anyway?

    #2- No halo for me again just one for the little chick I'm standing next to.

    #3- Shrek? What d'yah mean I look like Shrek.
    bloody cheek!

    #4- Hey...look...just saw Lazza's nose in the haystack....Blam!..he he. coats mine now..

  17. Hello again, Trev....tried responding last night and either I fell asleep or my computer did...

    Now, this morning, I seem to have some sort of 'bug' and can think of nothing intelligent to say (wow! What a horrid symptom!!!)

    Love you, though

    A Sickish Kazza

  18. Uh Oh... not the dreaded morning sickness.....
    Best remedy is more hair of the dog that bit you

  19. If I had 'morning sickness', I think I'd welcome more of that dog and his hair...


    But I'm pretty sure my body has moved past the days when worrying about morning sickness was an issue.

    Gawd... I just suffered a frisson of panic...can you imagine what it would be like for me to have a child at my age??? Good heavens. I'd be 65 by the time the poor darling was graduated from high school.

    You can go away now, Trev. You've caused enough angst for one day. Morning sickness, indeed!

  20. Enough about you...let's talk about me now..did you like my captions ?

  21. Oh, sweetheart, I absolutely LOVE your captions! Of course I do. I particularly love being compared to Shrek-- he's one of my favorites, you know, and we can both do the bubbling thing...

    Olympia with a halo... she deserves a halo more than I do, that's for sure. Especially after the comment I made to her husband's security guard that day in 1993...

    Oh, sweetie, of course I love your entries. We'll see what Mr. Grumbles thinks, okay? Even though he won't know who each entry comes from, you're really 'writing' for him... (and you have NO IDEA what his sense of humor is like, do you?....heh heh heh...)

  22. #1 "I — hic! burp! — jush luv thish mac — marko — microphang. It'sh my besht — buuuuurp! — fren — hic!"

    "If you think that sounded bad, you should smell it!"

    #2 ♪♫ One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you guess which thing is not like the other, before I finish my song? ♫♫♪

    #3 Woman almost dies of shock: Teenage son did the dishes.

    Woman stunned at accusation her earrings are really silver-plated locks of her own hair.

    #4 I talk to a real person now, or the phone gets it!"

    "Press bloody one! Press bloody two! How ' bout I squeeze this?"

    Having successfully managed to prise the parasite from her teenage daughters' ear, the mother then proceeds to ensure it can't do any more harm to her offspring.

    The best way to deal with tele-marketers.

    "I'm sorry, your call could not be connected."

  23. Oh, my friend... you have made this woman laugh!

    Thank you so much... I really needed that.

    Excellent entries, Crookedpaw. Heheheheheeeee.

    (I'm still gonna win the contest on the other, though. No doubt about it!!!)

  24. Okay... I've just re-read these entries, and they're great! Still snickering...

    But please get your friends to enter, too. I'd love to have 104 entries to celebrate my 104th blog entry! Call 'em in from near and far (how much farhter away can we get from Australia, anyway... surely thre's some place on earth which is farther away than CP and Dozy and Ali g??? (Where is Trev hailing from, we wonder...)

    Just three days left, folks. See if we can get more friends to enter to win for their favorite charity or good cause or needy person!!!)

    STILL smiling, up here at the 45th N lat!

  25. #1. I sure hope my Mother isn't in the audience!

    #2. I wonder if it's OK to put her down as a reference on my next job application?

    #3. What do you mean 'the camera was on?'

    #4. Giving new meaning to the old jingle; "Reach out, reach out and touch someone."

  26. #1: Mum was... as was my 94 year old grandmother... it was a very 'clean' performance...

    #2:What?? Have I been fired? My boss is SUCH a b****!)

    #3: Damn! I hate it when that happens! Especially when my grandmother and my mother are in the audience!

    #4: Wow, DC. I didn't think you were old enough to remember that ancient jingle!

    Do you know the "Oscar Meyer" one? Or... how about the jingle for Band-aids?

  27. #1- I got a new stick deodorant today

    #2- Instructions said remove cap and push up bottom

    #3- I can barely walk but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

    #4- Come out from behind that haystack Trev. I'm going to kill you.

  28. Hahahahahaha! You are SUCH a nut, Trev! That's hilarious... it really is.

    What an idiot man (said with all the love I can muster, sweetie).

    Tell me... if you win, what charity will you support?


  29. I'm stuck on Band-Aid brand, 'cause Band-Aid's stuck on me!

    Ohh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiener, that is what I really want to Be-e-e; 'Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, everyone would be in love with me!

    Yup, I'm probably the last generation to actually see those ads on T.V.

  30. Hey! You aren't old enough to have a generation yet! Wait your turn like a good boy and let us baby boomers move through ( we're like molasses in January, huh?)

    'Cause they hold on tight to your finger and they stick on (blah-blah)knee...I am stuck on Band-aid, 'cause Band-aid's stuck on me....

    Hey, Crookedpaw? Where'd you get those neat musical symbols???

  31. If I win that should be about A$114 so will put it towards a Dryzabone coat seeing its sp bloody wet down here these days.
    Then again might donate it to the 'Heart Foundation' seeing as they've kick started me a couple of times when my battery 's gone flat.

  32. Yeah... Trev... You need to hang with your second idea, I think, since I will be writing the check and I'm not sure I consider a Dryzabone fund a charity.

    And friend, I'm sure glad you got kick-started, okay. That swift jab from Mrs. Trev's size twelve didn't do it, hmmmm?

    (Oh, just had a thought... probably your shoe sizes are metric, or some funky thing like that, huh? Well.. a size twelve here in the states is a healthy sized foot... Just saying!)


  33. What musical symbols?

    Oh! you mean these: ♪ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♪

    They were just lying around. Thought I'd throw them in.

  34. how come you get your Dryzabone that way and I cant?

    Mrs Trev doesn't do the swift jabbing here. That's my job...

  35. Ha! Jealously guarding your secrets... just like my mother with her biscuit recipe!

    Fine. Be that way.

    I'll bet you don't know the secret to these: @*#&$^%

    And I'll never tell...(that same mother would skin me alive!)


    Mornin', CP.

  36. Oh, brother... Trev, you are so incorrigible!

    And what, exactly, do you mean? I got my Dryzabone because I am, without a (very big) doubt, an amazing (whiner) woman who simply (incessantly) said, "Oh, Larry! I just love (really, really want) your coat!"

    And he wanted to make me happy. Pbbbtt.

    Plus there was that little business about it not fitting in his bag... (SOMEONE had to give him all kinds of extra crap to take back to Oz...)

  37. There's a code that has to be strictly adhered to in order to maintain the integrity of the system. Otherwise, one has no alternative.

  38. .... I don't even know what to say to that... You've done it again. Rendered me speechless...


  39. ♪ ♫ ♪ ♪♫♫ ♪♪♫♫♪ The Dryzabone song. sing it and a coat may come your way. [no charity]

  40. Mum's biscuit recipe? Acording to Mr. Grumbles, it doesn't really matter who's recipe you use, they always come out the same!

  41. Hey!

    Who gave you permission to speak to Mr. Grumbles???

  42. When a man warns me about a womans cooking, I take it seriously! He's a good man, and seemed to be speaking from experience!

  43. You guys all stick together, don't you?

    Well... my biscuits would stick together if I could get that danged recipe!!


    You're up way past your bedtime. Go away, now. (But not too far, okay? I might need a guinea p... I mean, a taste-tester for my yeast rolls...)

  44. Okay, boys and girls. The contest is almost over. Today is the 1st anniversary of GAG, and in 3 1/2 hours it'll be time to announce a winner.

    Just as soon as a winner is chosen, I will let you know! You still have time to enter, so don't be shy! Don't let my size intimidate you! (Except for you, DC. And you, Jack. Oh, and Wade, if he ever shows up here. I definitely want Wade to be scared of me. Ever since I put the cervical collar on upside down, he thinks he's soooo much smarter than I am!)

    Thanks for playing... now go get your friends and have them join in. It's for charity, after all!

  45. 1.- I'd like to announce

    2.- here in front of a witness

    3.- that I WON Tony Parks book contest!

    4.- OK all you losers. Just stop your sulking and come out!

  46. Well, finally! A winner has been chosen! It wasn't easy, and it came down to three finalists!

    Crookedpaw, for his entry on photo #4:

    "Press bloody one! Press bloody two! How ' bout I squeeze this?"

    DC, for his entry on photo #4:

    #4........ Can you hear me now?

    And Tracy B for her entry on photo #2:

    "Boy, does she make me look good!"

    (Personally, I'm not convinced who was the narrator in that caption, so I haven't decided whether to be flattered or insulted...hehehe.)

    Oh, and by the way, since Mr. Grumbles didn't want to choose a winner because one of the entrants is an inlaw (and we DON'T practice nepotism on this blog, Ali g!) I had a friend choose for me yesterday. I'd printed off the pages of this blog posting and took them to a meeting I attended in Freeport (home of the famous LL Bean flagship store). My friend Don does not know any of you, and he doesn't use the computer much, so he's not a follower of GAG, either. So... no nepotism, despotism, eroticism, masochism or even circumcision was involved in the choosing!

    And still... we had a three way tie.

    So, my friends...we pulled from a hat (actually, it was a small cardboard box which once contained 100 DVD's of "Save the Mountains of Highland, Maine" but I'd given them all away so it was empty...) Each of these three were equal in standing, but since I can't really afford to pay out $312.00, I've decided to give out smaller second and third place prizes, instead.

    1st: DC
    2nd: CP
    3rd: Tracy B

    Congratulations, guys! DC, you may chose a charity to be the recipient of $104.00! Ot two, to get $52.00 apiece. Or three...nah. Not three. I can't do the math for three...

    CP, for a second prize, I'll compose a custom poem for you AND shoot two holes in the inanimate object of your choice. Now, don't knock it. I CAN write a decent poem if I put my mind to it, and surely there is some function, special occassion or person you would like to be memorialized in a "Poem by Kaz". I've actually been PAID to write poems, did you know that? (And really, it's all Ali g's fault!) Also, there is incredible satisfaction in knowing that a woman blew a hole in something that irks the heck out of you-- just because she cares (and she CAN!)

    And Tracy...sweetie... what do you want? You've probably got a dozen copies of Grumble Bluff (you HAVE purchased one by now, haven't you???) And I've written poems for you and for Tom, and for each of your children. In fact, your kids have each received at least two custom poems from me. I'd buy you a subscription to the Irregular... but I think you work there? So... how about I donate $20.00 to the charity of YOUR choice?
    I really appreciate the fact that you folks take the time out of your busy days to come and play with me on GAG. You always, always give me a smile or a chuckle. Always. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

    So, thanks. From the heart. And... congratulations! Here's to an even better, second year of Grumbles and Grins!


  47. Trev, I thought you meant YOU'D won! And boy, was I gonna give you a hard time about that!!

    But, nope. It was me.

    With you as a friend, though, I'm always a winner. (Found those teeth for the missus yet? I know where you can get some hand-carved, rock maple... nah. They'd hurt...)


  48. WOW, I won? I never win anything! I guess I'm flattered, even if it was 'luck of the draw'!

    Now, where to send the money..............

    I s'pose it could go to Trev's Driza Bone fund, Or to Kaz's print shop, or even Ali G's cat food fund, but somehow, I don't think our benevolent hostess would aprove of any of those............

    So, how about we send it to The Friends of the Highland Mountains, with a note that says, 'for the matching grant'? That way it goes to something that we all support, and it doubles it's efectiveness, without costing our Kazza $208.00!

    What you think?


  49. Well... obviously, EYE think it's a marvelous idea! But this is about YOUR favorite charity, DC. I know you want/need to save these mountains, too... but I want to make sure this is what YOU really want.

    Okay!! You've convinced me!! (Hehehe... thanks, sweetie!) What a great way to invest your winnings, too! By marking the funds for the matching grant, you've got a 100% return on your investment! Now, all I need to know is if you want this to be a tax deductible donation, or not. You can email me the answer, if you want.

    Okay... Tracy, how about you? Shall we support an animal shelter? Homeless shelter? Vietnam Vets? Mothers Against Temper Tantrums? You name it, I'll get it done!

    And yeah, CP... I'm not done with you, yet. :o) (Btw, you, too can choose a charity, if you'd rather. $35.00 to the one of your choice. I just wasn't sure about whether or not an American check would be acceptedin Oz...) Let me know.


  50. Well lets see... since you probably won't donate it to the Tracy Bessey fund or the "Feed the Bessey's 16 Puppies Fund" I'll go with Bridging the Gap Kingfield Elderly Meal program. Since this is a project I started several years ago and it's growing every month I think that would be a great place to donate it. This program started with serving meals to about 18 senior citizens in Kingfield and now serves about 55 people each month. You can make the check out to Bridging the Gap and I will get it to Connie Maginnis the person in charge. Thanks!
    By the way... you look good no matter who you're standing next to!

  51. That's a great idea, Tracy! That was part of girl schouts when you were leader, wasn't it? It's turned into a wonderful community project! Bravo, Tracy!!!

    And... thanks for the sweet thing you said. :o)

    Anyway, stop by the office and pick up a check when you go through. I'll be in Thursday morning, 8-12:00, or if I'm not there, Jo can write one for you! Thanks for playing. Hope you'll do it again!


  52. I really should start to proof-read these...

  53. Oh, I'm sure. I have spent several nights at the Skowhegan Fair talking to people, and I am more convinced than ever that we HAVE TO win this one, or our State is in BIG trouble!

    It's your signature on the check, so you decide how to make it out. Just make sure it gets where it can do the most good for our Mountains.

  54. But, see... the donation will be made in YOUR name...

    Thanks for doing the fair thing, DC. Looking forward to taking a shift ib Friday.

    Do they come around with free doughboys?

  55. Dang... I gtta start proof-reading! Where's my editor???

    Oh, yeah... he's hanging out with my pal Larry, tonight! I am sooo psyched that Jack and Larry are meeting! But boy, oh boy... I wish I could be there, too! (Unless they come to a consensus and decide to dump the gal from Maine...)

    Great. You had to bring up THAT possibility, didn't you???


  56. Okay. I've paid up to "Bridging the Gap" for my third place winner, Tracy B. Yay, Tracy, for being a "giving" woman! That is exactly how we make a difference in this old world!

    Now, to make good for DC and CP...

    DC, I'll get a check to the Friends of the Highland Mountains (made out to the "matching funds" account) as soon as!

    And CP... what is YOUR pleasure?


    Just trying to bridge some (10,000 mile) gaps, here...

  57. Just a contribution to the World Wildlife Fund in my name would be fine, thanks.


  58. Okey doke, CP. Is that something I can do online, or do I need an address to send a check to? And do you want them to send a receipt to you? (Do you folks have to file income taxes like we do? And then you can use charitable donations as deductions?)

    Hmmmm.... :o) Let me know. And thanks again for playing.

    I must say, I'm a little disappointed, though. I think you're my only Aussie who hasn't received at least one "Poem by Kaz"... Even Trev was the subject of one last year. :o)

    Ah, well... I'm not dead, yet. :o)

    Cheers back atcha!

  59. You can make a one-time donation on their website. Here's their American division.

    You've already done a poem about me on TP's blog. Don't need to be spoiled, do I?

    Live long and prosper.

  60. Heh... I suppose that counts. Definitely don't want you spoiled, yet.

    Thanks for the link, CP. I'll do that first thing tomorrow.

    Do some of that living long and prospering yourself, okay?