Friday, October 26, 2012

Sisterhood of the Traveling Poo--Part Deux

Just one of the delightful 'poo' themed gifts I've received from Dozy.  

Well, she did it again.  My amazing friend Dozy-- that intrepid shopper from Down Under-- managed to find me the perfect souvenirs while on her most recent African safari. 

You might remember that Dozy is the gal pal who has sent me oodles of exotic… um… ‘manure’.  Yes, there’s a story, there.  After all, no one would gift a friend with defecation without good reason, right?  If you don’t know the history behind Dozy’s sh**ty gift-giving habits, I invite you to read “Sisterhood of the Traveling Poo” at the link below.  Trust me-- it will all make perfect sense! 

The phone rang this evening and I answered it in the bedroom, where I was working at my computer.  Since the TV was on and my husband and daughter were also chatting behind me, I took the phone downstairs to the kitchen so that I could hear.  I spied a package on the counter and I grinned.  A carton with Dozy’s unique handwriting on it!  It had to be a box of poop!

Yep.  And not just a little bit, either.

I couldn’t wait to open the box so I put the phone down, grabbed a knife and sliced through the packing tape.  There were four individually wrapped parcels in the box.  The first contained a soft and beautiful scarf from South Africa.  There was nothing crappy about that gift—it was lovely.
Josie models scarf from South Africa

 But then, oh, then!  From inside pink tissue paper I pulled a pretty little notebook… made of pressed elephant dung.  Amazing!  I believe the inside sheets are called ‘pooper’ instead of ‘paper’, but don’t quote me on that until I’ve researched the matter further.
Ele-poo notebook

blank pooper just waiting for pen and ink

The next item was wrapped in a sheet of foam.  It was chunky.  Heavy.  I cackled nervously—wondering what large African animal Dozy had followed behind with her pooper-scooper in hand.  I was still chatting with my friend, trying to hold the phone between shoulder and ear while I hefted the package and unrolled the wrapper.     
Dung beetle rolling dung ball-made in Zimbabwe
 And there in the palm of my hand was… a dung beetle.  A BIG one!  And not just the bug, mind you!  My beetle came with its very own massive ball of dung clutched between its hind legs.  What a load of crap!

And what a WOMAN!  Dozy’d found the perfect African gift.  And THIS TIME I knew better than to try to eat the dung beetle, too.  (Yes, that’s a story for another day…)

But there was one more tissue-wrapped bundle.  I couldn’t imagine what it was.  The delivery slip on her box listed three items (and please note Dozy’s expert word-smithing): “Scarf, ornament…stationery”.  Check, check…and check. 

I tore off the wrapping paper-- and there it was, in all its glory.  The real deal.  Authentic.  Pure.  Straight from the African elephant…to me.

A pop-top pack of pachyderm poop.
Genuine elephant dung from South African

Perfect.  And very grassy. Quite interesting, in fact.  For now, though, I’ll resist the urge to pop the top and inspect it further, knowing that my acute anticipation will only enhance the experience, later on.

Dozy has certainly outdone herself.  I can’t begin to imagine what gift I can find for her that will compare to these treasures.  Still, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a comparable souvenir …and hope that when I find ‘that certain something’ it will give her as many grins and chuckles as she’s sent my way.

What a gal!  Thank you, Dozy-dear.  You are the absolute BEST.  Sending s**tloads of love back atcha!

African gifts from my friend Dozy 

1 comment:

  1. Heheheee...............
    Always thinking of you sweetie......snort
    Love you (you know just HOW much....giggle)